


Those nights

by Gitaek



Category: EXO (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Anxiety, Depressed Kim Jongin | Kai, M/M, eventually, i still don't know how to tag, sleep problems, somniphobia, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 12:08:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13636008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gitaek/pseuds/Gitaek
Summary: Jongin was terrified of those nights where he was a prisoner in his own head, and he just couldn’t wake up. Those night were the worst.





	Those nights

The first bad dream Jongin can remember having was at a pretty young age. He can’t really remember the details of the dream anymore, but he can remember how scared the dream left him. The dream was in black and white, and it was placed in a jail. Jongin can still remember how the prisoner, who was clothed as a mime artist, was running after him. He can also recall how he awoke, but he couldn’t open his eyes, couldn’t escape the dream. He tried to scream for help, but he couldn’t open his mouth. How everything suddenly turned black, and he was so aware of the fact that he knew he was dreaming, but he just couldn’t wake up.

The dream itself seemed stupid and childish, now that he looks back at it, but everything gets a bit more scary in his dreams, it seems like. 

After that dream, young Jongin was terrified of going to sleep. Every night he would beg his parent to _just let me stay up a little bit longer please_ , but they always denied. When he was laying in his bed, he would always stare up into the ceiling, tears falling from his eyes because _I don’t want to sleep_ , _don’t make me sleep_.

But every night he fell asleep, and for the most nights it went just fine. But that wasn’t how Jongin looked at it. Instead of focusing on all the nights he fell asleep and slept just fine until morning, he thought of those nights where he woke up terrified and scared. Those nights where he was a prisoner in his own head, and he just couldn’t wake up. Those night were the worst.

As Jongin grew a bit older, now around the age of 11, he got into a phase where instead of being scared of falling asleep and having bad dreams, he was scared of the things that might happen while he’s asleep. What if I die during sleep. What if the world goes under. What if the house gets set on fire. What if something happens to my parents. What if I never wake up? _What if what if what if what if what if_.

Now, years later, Kim Jongin is officially a sleep deprived teenager, and the many parties he went to had nothing to do with it (seeing that it was _none_ ). He’s now at the age of 16, and even though the year only just began, he already knew his new year resolution wasn’t going to happen (“I’m going to overcome my problem sleeping problem”).

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> so i have have a question,,  
> who do you want kai with? i was thinking about it and i can't choose fihwhdm
> 
> btw, this first chapter is kinda just an introduction?? so it's very very short.  
> it was supposed to be longer in the beginning, but it got messy so what i  
> deleted out of that is going to be a part of chapter 2 hehe


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